Some of them are old, a selection are animated, a lot of them are questionable, but most are worth a glance. And here I present the first 'Posters of Pinewood'. What better one to start with than the first one I saw when I started working. It also happens to be an example of the franchise Pinewood is most famous for (a glance out the window and I can see the massive 007 Stage).
Moonraker
I was scalded at work when I revealed that I've only seen one Bond film from start to finish (Die Another Day). Sure I've seen clips and trailers, Scaramanga's third nipple, the terrifying Grace Jones, and the majority of The Spy Who Loved Me, but that's about it. But when on earth did Bond go to space?!
I love the fact it's animated. No way could you set this image up, and frankly who could be bothered to photoshop it. Just the shading, muted colours, and saucy floating nymphs prepare you for what is a seventies Bond movie (Bondploitation?). It almost seems that they drew the poster after having asked boys what they like (girls, space, guns), and then made a film from that.
Probably cashing in on the success of Star Wars, there's an ominous baddie wearing black, echoing Darth Vader, but instead of a mask and a cloak, he's wearing some flares. Beware men who wear flares! What a fashion-conscious social warning the advertisers have given; one that is still relevant in today's society.
There are spacemen positively ejaculating from the aircrafts in the top left corner, but how on earth are they planning on getting into the space-station? I imagine the super sleuths who own suspicious space stations think of getting glass thick enough to stop nuclear asteroids, so what the hell are mere hoarde of astronauts going to do?! Just rebound, that's what. Super sleuths 1, spermy spacemen 0.
We all know about the struggle civil servants and key workers face with funding for equipment, housing and uniform, and it appears that MI5 spy 007 has also been served with budget cuts. That's why they've sent him to space in tin foil. I can only imagine that they had a sandwich wrapping amnesty -'Don't throw away the foil from your sandwiches as we're stitching together a nice little number for Bond'. And then I remember he's not a real person.
Also how come he's managed to conquer zero gravity, whilst all the girls and Jaws are floating about? Unless they're mid leap? Perhaps, but probably not. And whilst we're on Jaws - a baddie who wears braces to hold up his trousers. Seriously?
I think that's a fair assessment, I can cross another Bond film off the list.
